freebird

ooh its 2am in the morning, i have work the next morning, and i just joined a dating network on the spur of the moment.

well, its free~! and its fun browsing through a database of cute guys - many of whom look like they'd been photoshopped from a mish-mash of korean/jap actors (well oogling unreal 3d people beats oogling unreal 2d people any day after all).

yay i have a new hobby now.

freebird

i was washing my hair, and at the end of the shower when i walked out, i found this persistent strand of hair twined around my hands.

i untwirled it.

it was 50 cm long.

if you had met me within the past 1 year, you'd know i'd maintained short hair ever since my breakup. it'll be miraculous to pull out even a 30cm long strand of hair.

my mum's a bob as well, and my dad's balding.

...

kewl~

freebird

24 hours is not enough in a day, if we want to sleep 8 hours, spend time with the family, and also read manga.

actually, even an infinite number of hours wouldn't be enough we want to throw manga into the schedule.

for the hundredth time, i need to quit it and start ekking out a life for myself, instead of staring blankly at the night sky at the end of the day and thinking: so what did i accomplish today? add a cigarette and a can of beer to the picture for best effect.

there are so many things i want to do, but i am seriously lacking in the discipline to do it.

what am i doing?

freebird

Whenever the topic of love comes up, I'll spend many sleepless nights tossing and turning in bed, running the concept through my head again and again.

i just don't get romantic love.

i'd been watching this korean drama about true love called 'Will it Snow in Winter' (its pretty good, but gah i hate watching wishy washy people go about their stuff) and I can't help getting the feeling that - whoa, i just don't get romantic love.

family love, i get. sacrificial love, yes. all-encompassing, i-love-humanity-and-furry-animals, i'm-happy-if-you-are love, check.

but romantic love, the much hyped up i-can't-live-without-you, i'll-do-anything-if-he'll-love-me-back kind, i totally don't get. isn't that just possessiveness, stubborness and desperation rearing their ugly heads? does it really exist outside of the tube? so many people claim to know it, and i've known of a few people who'd actually kill themselves after a heartbreak, but its so far beyond me that i can't even imagine it. no offense, but how do you know those few people aren't a select few crazy billies? there are so many failed romances all over, but you don't see people dropping from buildings like flies.

so i spend all night tossing and turning in bed, wondering about what is love, what is wrong with me, what went wrong with my ex, and what is real about the emotion and what is not.

emo-ing is goddamn tiring.

freebird

i dreamt i was going to make strawberry cheesecake on a budget.

i seem to have a lot of dreams that have to do with confectionery and shopping.

the point i was trying to make is that - hey, i stopped dreaming of working! i'm returning to normal - i think.