yay~ the exams are finally over! and my confidence level is getting progressively lower as the tests advanced upon me. Oh my god! i can't even START attempting half of the questions they threw at me today in the F Maths Exam! and i slept at 10pm last night without attempting a single practice question!

i can't believe what i was doing. maybe the stress was getting to me and i finally decided to heck it all? or maybe its the advent of the cosfest 2004 that fired up my interest in manga-drawing again, and made me want to pursue a path down the dark and lonely and poor and... blah... road of manga-artist-hood?

yar, i'm so totally disinterested in studying and academics right now. call me disillusioned.

oh, aniwae, the main reason why i'm so pissed off and distressed is not my failure at fmaths and all the subjects before it; its not the fact that the guys found out about my height and weight; its not coz i started to get crazy ideas about a future that is most-likely not to be.

its coz after 5 gruelling days, i decide to have fun for a while; and installed my final fantasy 8, juz... to find i lost my disc one.

...damn.

yay~ yesterday was the cosfest!!!

we met at 12nn, and after deliberating for a really long time, ended up eating at McDonald's. Poor Shawn; we didn't eat teppanyaki in the very end. haha.

well, cosfest 2004 was quite fun, with a lot of "wow" costumes. i wonder if i would be able to produce something of such high standard at the end of the year. *stress stress*

the kenshin was chao shuai!!! and so were the dynasty warriors costumes!!! and i had a 5 minute crush on this girl who was cross-dressed... ahhhh... feel so crushed. and shawn was gloating about "yuri... yuri..." when he heard about it. *kick*

sadly, stell couldn't join us for lunch as she was still downtown at noon. and jr couldn't coz he was doing household chores. damn! i've never washed clothes ever in my life!!! *feeling so inferior* i'm better start learning how to operate the washing machine.

but! my house's washing machine is like damn scary... there's rust all over, and i can get tetanus if i scratched myself operating there! and some wires are exposed coz the rabbit bit through the rubber tubing and i could get electrocuted!!! and worse... if i pressed the wrong button... i'll spoil the washing machine, which is an antique!!! eek!yar, i should just stick to using the non-dangerous method of hand-washing rite? (i'm crapping) seriously, how does my mother survive the household chores? suddenly feel so much respect and reverence for her. *worship*

ya~ i want to go someone, anyone's house for fatal frame~!!!

yay! the results for C Maths, Physics and F Maths are back at last! i didn't do as badly as i'd thought.

i passed my Physics! and i din get F for F Maths! whew~ when i knew that i got 10/41 for Section C, i thought "it's impossible to get above 35% now." But, whee! i got O! O! O!

so it's C for Physics, O for F Maths, and A for C Maths. and i'm guessing E for Econs as pernormal. that makes... COAE? COAX? wat is that?

yo! didya go down to orchard today? didya see a bunch of pple performing weird stuff along the walkway? most importantly, didya donate? *waves penknife threateningly... u did, din't u? evil grin*

after a lot of persuading, i got my mom to come down to orchard to shop for the day! yay~ was totally lost; forgot who's performing wat where, and which were the venues that has performers.

by sheer luck, i decided to drop by wisma atria (is that atrium? or is that NOT atrium?) and den paragon, and decided to sae "hi" to this suspicious looking girl painted all over with black paint. and it just happened to be weiteen!!! whee~ took picture with her! and i got shawn to dab black paint on my hand so all the shopkeepers would look shocked when i touch all the merchandise there!!! haha!

my feet are so sore... $10 shoes really suck.

i love rainy days. i love walking alone across the roads, with no murderous drivers plotting to run me down. i love looking at the cute little earthworms wriggling their little ways across my path. and i love the fun task of picking out a nice dry path across a flooded area; reminds me of back when i was an usborne puzzle adventure book fan.

all in all, i love the experience of carrying groceries that weigh a tonne all the way from the mall to my house across a bogged garden, and the serenity of being the only person out there in the rain. and i made a new friend along the way, mr. wind-sama, who entertained me by playing tug-of-umbrella all the way.

its great that its finally raining in Singapore, after the sweltering heatwave of the past few months. i hope it'll continue raining like this forever, coz i just love rainy days.


...in case u are wondering, i'm not being sarcastic.

yay~ we got back our psycological test results! i can't believe i paid $15 for it... but it was fun reading when i was bored.

the DISC test showed that.. i'm a communicator and i talk too much. and it recommended me to be a salesperson in future coz i am so damn talkative. hello? i've got this irritating stammer when i get nervous and i dun talk much? i really wonder how it came to be. i guess the test really overgeneralized on people who are open about their thoughts and secrets... bleah.

and the MBTI test showed that i was this professor-type that is very into lifelong learning and makes everyone's lives difficult by asking questions about everything. yar, i guess that could have been me, if i didn't get myself hooked onto the net. I was supposed to be undisciplined and undetermined too, wasn't i? Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking and Perceiving, that's me, i guess.


other topic of the day; i'm going into FMaths R tomorrow. yay~ so happy!!! i can get to haf additional lessons with some of my favourite friends in the FMaths Faculty! (self-denial: self-defense mechanism kicking in to make me less depressed)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he hates me, he hates me not. he hates me, he hates me not. he hates me, he hates me not. h

bonehead is so cute.

bonehead is kawaii.

*ranting about bonehead*

it's my birthday today, and i should be going on and on about how nice and wuliao some people are, but i'm sorry. i'm pretty obsessed over something else now. mango juice.

it's my birthday, and everything was going fine, and when i was going home and walking towards the 31 bus stop, this huge drop of mango juice suddenly fell on me from the sky.

its not bird crap. MANGO JUICE. now, where the hell did that come from? and that idiotic drop of mango juice hit my hand, and i had no tissue to wipe it with, and IT STAINED BONEHEAD!!! how dare it stain bonehead?!?!? *growl roar incoherent speech*

heh. my mom made a really nice bday dinner for me, western, and even bought a damn expensive itsy bitsy small cake. what's funny is that we couldn't figure out how the hell to get the small cake out of its wrapper. the plastic is wrapped firmly around the cake to keep it in shape, and we couldn't push it out from the bottom up coz it was so soft. and we could wait for it to slowly slide out the bottom, only it was sinking like 0.1mm per second.

so, anywae, we decided to scoop out the cake with a small teaspoon. made a huge mess out of the small, minuscule, super-decorated cake. diaoz.

oh, anywae, just found out there might be a pervert in town. or maybe a super annoying kid that drops by between 10pm and 4am, or a stray dog that took the lift up to my floor.

its the second time my house is missing socks. just one out of the pair is missing. its damn irritating! and wat's more irritating is, the socks are inside the gate, so whoever took them has got to reach IN to get them. so it was a deliberate show of irritatingness.

the first sock that went missing was my dad's socks. but they were originally mine, until that ankle-sock craze came about. then my blue-doggie-ankle-sock went missing this morning. that was especially pissing coz i only had 4 pairs of socks that i wear to school, and now the number's been reduced to 3.5 pairs. grrrr...

and it was a huge blow to my dignity that the first sock stolen was my dad's. so my dad's socks were more appealing den mine lar! and if whoever stole my dad's socks thinking that it was mine... he's gonna think i haf big and smelly feet! ah~!

either way, i hate this irritating person/dog/kiddo.

its amazing how someone could get from really nice to damn right-down bitchy in just one day.

well, i'm not allowed to go to the piano concert after all. even though she did say that i was allowed to go, in the end she just concluded that it was miscommunication on my part. and the damn concert is tomorrow, and i'd made all the plans about going and meeting my friends before hand and everything. and i do feel so sorry for weiteen, coz its the first time she's performing, and i WANT to be there to watch her, dammit.

i feel like just locking myself up in my room and refusing to leave even when the piano teacher comes knocking on my door. yes, i think that's what i'll do. den she can go and embarrass herself and the entire godamn TAN FAMILY by explaining to the teacher why her ill-disciplined, irresponsible and hopeless child is throwing a tantrum and refusing to come down for lessons.

right now she's downstairs being extremely quiet and pretending nothing's happened. i'm not letting this end so quietly.

its not my fault my dad's overseas holidaying while she's suffering loneliness at home and getting stressed up over her tuition student's poor results and upcoming 'O's. its not my fault her housewife status restricts her social life, and thus she has to depend so heavily on me for accompiment. its not like i'm not making a special effort to stay at home and keep her company. ok, i'm alwaes online chatting in my room, but she has the gameboy and tv too.

...ok, i'm starting to feel sorry for her.

15 more minutes to the blasted piano lesson; i'd better go down to practice.

yes, i can count.

the table tennis club ended up going to ecp to bike, coz of the scrabble competition held in the hall. damn, my butt is all black and blue now. it was really fun, tho a bit depressing coz it was the hand-over at last. felt so nostalgic...

i would like to specially thank the now-ex-chairman for everything he'd done for the club, and i'm so sorry i'd been such a useless vice-chair. and also the treasurer (no ex- also.) for being so patient with the us and our laziness and blurness.

okae, den i went over to parkway with jermee and shawn; walked miles and miles of shops to look for an appropriate gift for me. i'm so sorry i suck and have no opinions at all. after i left to join my mother in the end, they decided by themselves to get me 4 identical dolphins/whales. *faint* cleaned out the store of sea-faring beanies, i should think. it was very lame, very corny, very doh, but very nice, and i'll be sharing my bed with 4 beanies and bonehead tonight. they are squeezing me out of my bed.

i would also like to set things straight that my mom could be quite bitchy at times, but is actually a very nice woman, and i'm sorry for being so cranky and bitchy and stubborn and spiteful and mean and blah... in my blog entry yesterday. my bad. yar. yar lor. yar. *blush*

the beanies are named one (blu), two (pink), three (yello), four (green) yepz, thanx guys! treat u ALL some day to something!

ok, i'm so gonna bitch today; if u can't stand it, look the other way.

well, went over to book a room to practice before the piano exam. its the same venue as last year, which means, it sucks. i actually hated the shop a lot from last year's experience.

last year, the receptionist was this really ugly and fat auntie, who has got this terrible attitude problem. when my mom and i went up to the shop, we realized that half of it was missing. there was a moment of quiet happiness as we mentally celebrated the bad business of the piano school.

aniwae, the receptionist this time was a polite young lady, and all was well. but the piano room was a totally different story.

well, i've heard scary stories about exam venues from friends and especially so from the piano teacher, but this room was downright SCARY.

first, the piano is nuts. when i started playing it was so soft that i could barely hear myself. thinking that it was me, (the teacher was alwaes complaining that i played too softly), i continued for 5 minutes, feeling increasingly perplexed about it all.

in the end, i couldn't stand it, and walked the entire length of the hallway to the reception (different person now), and told her that there seemed to be something wrong with the piano. she adamantly said that it must just be me, and that the piano is tuned monthly, and stared at me until i decided to go back to make full use of my remaining 25 minutes. (the rental rate is $14/ half hour)

so, i decided to just test out how soft the piano could get. so... i stepped on the middle pedal (for softness), and "WHAM"! the piano came back to normal. and i had to step on the peddle through the entire next 15 minutes.

in the end, when i next released the pedal, it went back to normal. it was spooky! i'm not lying! oh, and i DID check that the pedal was not stuck or anything beforehand.

and the high F# note gives off this loud irritaitng "zinggggggggggg" sound in the background everytime i press it. to be fair, my own piano does that too for certain keys, but not so loud that the audience could hear...

and and, the room was so not soundproof, that i could hear wat was being played next door. another grade seven player. and, imagine, on the day of the exam, i'll be playing, and the examiner could hear two sets of music, one from me (which isn't really music coz i'm playing), and one from the opposite room. and interference would occur, and we can whip out all our physics superposition notes about two wave patterns.

ya, but i'm sure the school is really trying its hardest to maintain the pianos. after all, they ARE earning a bomb from us, so they should be attempting to make the pianos a lot more conducive for us students rite?

i am evil... well, juz realized how much i owed to a tonne of people out there! helping me attempt repairing my damaged cds, burning 15+ cds for me... helping me get the jay chou cds i wanted... giving me really nice bday presents... keeping me company when i'm cranky and bitchy... bearing with me... thank you people~!!! i dun deserve friends like you~~~!

here, to negate all the "i hate you"s i'd ever said in the past, i'll like to sae a big "I LOVE YOU" to everyone. there, this should cover all the "i hate you"s for the rest of this year bah...

yay~ the last installment of my bday prezents from weiteen and co. just came in; 5 Getbackers and 2 Black Cats! whee~

i had to leave the house to meet yanying coz she couldn't locate the books i wanted. i intended to leave immediately after she called me, but walking out the door, i got stopped by my parents coz i was wearing a sleeveless short top, and they wun allow me outside in that getup.

so, i had to go upstairs to change, only to find out that... i can't find the keys. so i went all around the house again looking for the misplaced keys, and five minutes into the search, decided to heck and just get my other set of keys.

so, there i was, eight minutes late, running towards Century Square, and i had to reach the junction just when the lights turned green for the cars. more waiting = later den ever.

u noe i'm this flustered gal, who starts hyperventilating when under stress, and i was really starting to get pissed and panicky. its normal to start pacing and pawing at the ground. i confess that i did recognise jerald across the road, but i dun NOE him, so i just pretended not to noe he was a schoolmate and continued my pacing, only to discover dat, DARN! TK is standing beside him. and he was grinning so widely u can't even see his lips. ARGH!!! i hope that hit hurt, TK. i really do.

up till now, i still cannot comprehend what the hell TK is doing in Tampines. it's a school day for heaven's sake. i noe i AM online rambling about stuff, but since MSN's down today i think i'm going to go back to work later. oh, yar, my point is, it's a school day! he is supposed to be MUGGING! staying at home! not 6 bus stops from his house with his best friend! er-hem, where was i?

in the end, the comics we wanted weren't in Comics Connection Century Square (this place sux, there's never any stock), so we went to Popular near the library. and *whistle* they had such a HUGE collection (u suck, Comics Connection CS) i had trouble deciding which series to buy. in the end i decided on yardar yardar.

yardar yardar yardar. someone get my msn messenger online again...! i can't breathe without my chat machine!!! *suffocates*

*gasp* oh, and i found the missing keys already. they were slipped through the belt-thing on my pants. i'm glad they din slip out while i was running towards CS. yar. i wunder why i put them there. *dies of lafin*

yay! VJC got a half-day today due to our choir coming in first worldwide and clinching gold medals for all 3 categories! so... i went out with shawn and jeremy to watch Brotherhood!!!

we went to Shaw House, and it was as though we booked the entire cinema, coz there were only the 3 of us sitting in the top row, this ONE guy sitting 2 rows down to the right, ONE woman sitting in the very top right hand corner (who gave me quite a scare, coz i din realize she came in.. as if she was a ghost like that) and a couple, also sitting inconspicuously at the top gallery.

the movie was fantastic! and i cried twice, once when the Won Bin was reading the letter, another towards the end. (it takes a lot for me to cry.)

but i hafta (grudgingly) admit to TK's claim that there was a lot of blood and gore and sadism and MAGGOTS! eww! yar, but it was a great movie, and there were a lot of great shots of Won Bin looking VERY shuai, and... rant rant rant...

oh, and the movie is supposed to exemplify the terrors of killing, the stupidity of war and sacredness of peace and harmony... and the two guys are actually compelled to go to the arcade to shoot some stuff after watching it. izzit just them, or are ALL guys like this? i hope its the former...

niwae, den we walked around suntec, tried for a GRAND PRIZE AIR TIX FOR TWO TO JAPAN lucky draw, goggled at people playing at the arcade, den went off to the Concourse to look at cheap stuff.

stupid shawn refused to walk to the concourse, so me and jeremy went alone, and boy! the stuff there were really nice! bought 3 erasers, for qiuling, stella and me, something like a clique icon? and jeremy was evil enough to accompany me all the way back to tampines, and take the bus ALL the way back to kallang again... JUST so that i'll feel even more indebted to him...

...thank you jeremy... *begrudgingly*

today, we went down to NUS to support the VJC team at the National Economics and Fund Management Quiz. Yay~ despite falling behind HCJC and ACJC by around 10 points after the 1st and 2nd rounds, we managed to come in 2nd, with the highest score for the Group Presentation! we're the only school that came up with a "court case" presentation, with America and China fighting over whether the ren min bi should be revalued or not. and our speakers were the most fluent and confident of the lot, and we even had costumes! *squeak*

niwae, felt super proud of VJC. and the reception was fantastic! i felt totally full after that! there were cakes, samosas, fishballs, beehoon, fried rice, and the like!

den i met woon teng, discussed about boys, the shuaige who was holding the prizes, ridiculed tk for not recognising all his pri sch schoolmates, and all.

went back to vjc, and got Ou De Yang from Jermee... ahhh.. owe him another favour.

~Mugen no Kaze~ (eternal wind)

The light of the sunset spreads,
coloring your profile
Oh sky, don't lose
those enchanting colors.

I guess everything fades
and changes with time
You to, will wave "bye"
as you walk on.

But there are some things that don't ever change,
that can't ever be put into words:
the feelings that fill your heart.

Pain, come now,
become an eternal wind.
Keep blowing,
to wrap around your stooped-over shoulders.
I am always watching you
Even if
you're in a far off place.

If we are reborn,
I will be born as myself.
Then I will find you,
once again...

Even though all things that have a shape
have limits,
I want to tell you that there are some things
that never fade.

Just because you were nearby
That alone enabled me
to walk even this steep a road.

Loneliness, come now,
become an eternal wind. From now on,
keep blowing,
pushing at your back as you walk alone.
I want to save you with love unseen
Until we meet again someday.

Now, unchanging things are nothing but
continually glittering emotions
that have gone unspoken.

Pain, come now,
become an eternal wind.
Keep blowing,
to wrap around your stooped-over shoulders.
I am always watching you
Even if
you're in a far off place.


~song from Ayashi no Ceres, sung by GeSANG

in times of when no words can ever describe how you feel, or no words should ever be used to describe how you feel, it is sometimes music that brings across the emotion u want to portray best. this is one of my favourite songs, if you want the mp3, just get it from me over msn. =D

ok, now that i seldom go on msn animore, i'm trying to blog as often as possible. haha.

well, i'm super hyper today coz of the jap club outing today~~~! so hyper! so happy! so whee~. well, frankly i dun like Yoshinoya, but, hey! friendship's more important den food rite? (however there are times that they coexist, right jermee? heh.) there were like, 18 people there? its been so long since we all got together to go out, really miss the good old days when we have CCA everyday... i wonder why i retired aniwae, its not like i'm studying at the time when i'm supposed to be at CCA. oh well.

and to thank Jermee for all his help and support, i published my first full-length manga! (15 pages long) hey, appreciate it, sia; i stayed up till 1am and den used up 2 breaks today to do it! heh.

i'm hyper... can't concentrate... hafta do stats 13.2 and 14.1 and mechanics 14 and physics of fluids and econs essay and... .... how? =P

qiuling is at home recuperating from her illness.

stella went home at 1230 as her classes had ended.

jr and company happily went off after fmaths r at 1540.

please tell me why i was let off 1 hour late for my econ s lecture, which makes my official dismissal time for the day a record 1800?

niwae, shawn senior came back to school today! complimented/ thrashed me about my econs. oh well. we were supposed to buy a belated birthday present for him to give to him today, but we sorta dunno wat to buy... no money... in short, we acted like we forgot about it, which is just as well, coz he din noe that we intended to get him something in the first place.

i guess half a year later, a birthday present for him would just pop out of nowhere and land on his lap, leaving him "huh-ing" in surprise.

oh, and btw, AM I WEIRD? DO I HAF WEIRD LOGIC?

yaaa~ its a slack day... stoned through the tutorials and lectures.

after school, decided to go find shawn tph (sounds like tampines hospital, haha) at marine parade library to give him back his cds. being the kiam siap queen i am, decided to WALK the 4 bus stops so as to save 45c. it never occurred to me that it'll be HOT and SUNNY, so i was positively cooking and tanned when i reached the library.

the library was so cool, a huge contrast to the hot HOT place the outside world was. so i decided to stay to cool off for five minutes. ended up chatting and chatting with shawn... i'm so sorry, shawn! in the end u couldn't study at all. i'm really distracting to haf around right?

but it was a really nice chat, although i suspect that he doesn't know wat exactly i was trying to explain most of the time. "xueqi's weird logic theory"

yaaa~ really slack day. just lazing around, think i'll go sleep later. my mother said i looked like a dead snake, flopping around and wrapping myself around anything i can get my body around. i just feel so heavy-headed and woozy nowadays, especially after the adrenaline rush of being hyper for two consecutive days. i think i skipped too many lunches, no energy now...

today is the HCJC fun fair!

met jermee to go there together. thank goodness for that, else i would haf gotten hopelessly lost. the mrt was EXTREMELY crowded today, had a lot of trouble threading my way through 6 or 7 cabins to reach him where he entered the train. thankfully he made off in the correct direction towards me too. luck?

and we spent most of the journey revelling in the Taegukgi trailer being played continuously on the mrt train. Won Bin is so shuai~ and the girl is so chio~ and the plot is fantastic no matter wat shawn or anybody saes. =P

aniwae, we missed the bus stop again, and had to walk back 2 stops to HCJC. as we were walking, the rain went from a light drizzle to a HEAVY drizzle, and my shirt got totally drenched. i finally got to walk in the rain with a guy!!! yay! *throws flowers and confetti in the air* *blows trumpet* *so touched...* like real. saw this squashed snail along the way.... sob... (and another snail supposedly feeding on the squashed snail, but i'll rather not think about that) no, really. i'm sure its just in a state of denial, and moving all over its friend to ask if its alright, u noe? i'm sure snails dun eat snails. yep, positive.

HC fun fair was fun. got ning to be the navigator. the first stall i went to was the haunted house, and i must stress again... its not fair that i missed all the ghosts jumping out at us! ning's both frenz were giving periodic shrieks, and i alwaes turn around only to catch a glimpse of a ghost returning to his/her hideout. waaa~ *sob* didn't get the adrenaline rush i'd hoped... no fair! i want to go again!

den i spent the rest of my money on food, food and food.

left for city hall to meet mom; arrived 15 min early, and basically just loitered and rotted around raffles city, staring at cute things hideously priced above my budget. suddenly feel so poor and shiny-deprived.

followed by shopping at Bugis? bought a really nice white top, but i doubt i'll ever have the occasion to wear it anytime soon. niwae, its sleeveless, and i'm convinced my arms are too fat. and also pssst hssst fsssst (cannot go into too much details, i noe there are guys reading this.) ok! i'm going to start exercising to tone up now!