Loneliness. It is a feeling that comes creeping up to you, when all other things fade into the background, and you are not immersed in someone's company or some activity. Then you would start reflecting on your life, and realise that many of the things you had taken to be matter-of-fact and blessful, are actually not supposed to be, and different, sometimes even detrimental to your personal wellbeing.

Life is a tangle of fine threads, and if one stares too closely, the many knots and crosses serve to confuse, but look on from a safe, detached distance, and what one see would be an agreeable design. But is that a form of escapism? For the tangles and knots would remain even if one cannot see them, and would be increasingly difficult to remove as more knots and tangles arise and the carpet of life expands.

Tangles should be removed. But i dare not, for fear that if i undo my work to correct the flaws, the entire design would be altered, and i would never get my carpet back again as i know it. For all its little tangles and annoying knots, my carpet currently still offers me sufficient comfort to continue in.

So please bring your carpets up beside me, and keep each other company, let me admire your carpets from afar. for as long as i'm not alone, as long as i'm distracted, the ugly little bits would stay safely away from my notice, only to haunt me some other day. But i shall be happy till then.

i luv Mondays.

i used to luv mondays,

until the *Reason I Luv Mondays decided not to go for all the *Reason I Especially Luv Mondays. now, all the *Reason I Especially Luv Mondays are boring me no end, and i dun luv Mondays anymore.

i luv the colour blue too.

but since it goes so well with the term Monday, i dun think i shall luv it anymore from now on. Lets all luv green instead.

~extract from Stats Revision Notes 02/08/04, written at 1.58pm.
~~~~~

yar, niwae, today is a day to commemorate, coz its the first time ever that stell, qL and i managed to get off school together and walk to the bus stop together! whee~

we'd NEVER had the chance to do that, coz of cca commitments and differences in time tabling. so we were all so excited over it!

and i'm excited over something else too. how come no one reminded me that there's an Econs test tomolo? 4 chapters? ah~~~ wat did i do with my weekend?

i'm so sleepy today. and that's even after i ate a large breakfast and snacks and lunch and icecream and a hell lot of water, so i guess it wasn't due to malnutrition as i'd originally thought it to be. i guess its stress? i would haf to wait until after Thursday to find out if i'm any less sleepy and stoned.

or maybe its just the computer screen hurting my eyes. which reminds me; i'm officially dead! the online me is officially dead, only to be resurrected at a later date! by online me, i mean the msn messenger me horz... so, pray for me, and wish me to RIP (Rise if Possible)

so long~

yep! its tuesday! after staring at the "Tuesday - 1/2 Price for all waffles with whipped cream and topping only"sign for the past half year, and hearing stories about Gelare's angelic waffles, i finally got someone to go there with me!

well, so to pay off jermee for all his good deeds and also to gif him a super early bday treat before i conveniently forget, i decided to treat jermee to Gelare.

ordered a plain waffle at half price and an icecream waffle. should haf just gotten 2 plain waffles and saved myself $3.60. the icecream was delicious, (MOCHA!), but the waffle was hot? so basically the whole thing melted in minutes, and since we spent most of the time debating over who should get the next scoop of icecream and waiting for the other to eat the icecream, the whole thing just melted on us. the entire plate was this goey, brown marsh, and the waffles were drowned. sigh. but chocolate/ mocha goes great with anything, even if it was wet, goey waffles.

niwae, the waffles at Gelare is fantastic! angelic! superb! must go again! (i'm feeling so fat right now; think i'll just skip lunch for the rest of the week until i start feeling faint again)

and the funnest thing about today must be when jermee spilt water onto his pants, and we had to stay and eat slooowly so his pants can dry and enable him towalk around without looking like he had p**d on his pants. yepZ!

oh, and we got back our psychometric test from PSC. i basically got strengths and weaknesses on all 5 aspects they tested me on, and i'm made out to be this totally insensitive loner who doesn't care about what others think. yar, true. especially so when i'm cranky, stressed, happy, elated, distressed, angry, pissed... but i still don't really know wat my psychometric results are exactly, coz my results are with jermee? too lazy to go get it back from him.

i'm ponning school on thurs, please miss me, and notice i'm not in school ok?

the title basically sums up the day.

piano exam in the morning, which i totally SCREWED up. my hands were shaking so much i played the whole page wrong. and the examiner had that... "oh dear, she'd betta save herself in the next sections" look on her face for a split second. den my scales, i screwed up so much she just said "...ok, lets move on to the next one"

and sight-reading and aural sucks, as pernormal. sigh~ that's $300 down the drain? and it doesn't help that the two 8-year old gals taking my grade came out grinning and going "dun worry, mom, i think i'll pass, i din make any mistakes..."

oh well.

den i went back to school, an hour early, and crashed thong kheng's pon-chem-lec group at the concourse. in the end, shawn joined us, and we decided to go to MOS burger. basically i went there, sat and chatted for 15 minutes, den left and made off back to school for the ALL IMPT GIC tok. strategically left my four ichigoes for them to eat.

note to all: TK is supposedly allergic to strawberries. so u noe wat icecream to get for him next time u go out.

den i went to the GIC talk. ah... i love GIC so much! i want to work there! but hard lar, its like they only take in around 5 people a year, and i'm not really a very vocal person, meaning i won't appear very attractive in an interview. sigh~

oh well, after the talk, which was great, fantastic, mostly Q & A, which is how one learns the most things, met jermee up at the concourse. somehow we ended up going to the McDonald's at ECP, and walking back to Marine Parade... still can't figure out why we went there. but i do miss McDonald's 25c icecream!!! so delicious!

ah... when walking along ECP with jermee... shucks, got seen by some frenz, and they shouted my name across the bicycle track. hope no one got the wrong impression. sigh~Z oh, and saw like 5 super cute dogs along the way! i want a dog! i want a dog! i want a dog that would slobber and shed fur all over me, and bite me, and mess up my room and chew on the sofa! so fun!

...okaez, going off coz my mom is staring over my shoulders and pressuring me to go mug. (coz she want to play online game) shouldn't haf intro-ed her to yahoo games. sigh.

yay~ its a holiday~! today is basically the National Day Concert, which was quite fun, largely due to the lame racial jokes the MCs cracked, and the presentation put up by our Taiwanese guests.

after which we all danced the VJC college dances! so fun!i seldom join my class for the dances, alwaes going off to S1A to join my friends, but Qiuling's dancing too! and we were just all in such a happy mood, with a famous singer on stage singing, we just all joined in big circle to dance Whiney Whiney. it was really fun, and once again, i feel so glad to be in my class, although i seldom speak with them, because they are a really fun-loving and happy bunch of people. *so touched* but it had been ages since i last danced mass dance, so basically i forgot all the steps, except those for Neutron. for those interested in the VJC dance, go www.vjcmassdance.cjb.net for the steps and music. WE ROcK!

anticlimax: followed by the econ S lecture. sigh~ why did i take econ s? while everyone else were having fun or meeting out, i'm sitting in a lecture. well, i won't say the lecture's boring, but i do so want to go out! *bang head against the wall in anguish*

in the end, weiteen and i managed to get out of the lt alive, and met shawn and Rivat outside. got weiteen to go out for lunch with us, and we all went down to Tampines Mall for lunch! so fun!

den, somehow, Shawn ended up coming to my house to help me fix my com. he was supposed to help me install the cd he passed to me to install, but somehow... i lost the cd. yep, well, i won't be surprised, my room is in shackles...

but we had a lot of fun lar, although forgot wat we did liao. hmm, lets see, ran through all my cds, played zuma, uninstalled some crap programs, deleted spyware, and watched the latest episode of Naruto. yay! so fun!

my room is even more untidy than before now. hahaz.... *sweatdrop*

i'm immobilized the entire afternoon, gastric pains and a splitting headache. sigh, so i guess i'll finally commit myself to the vjc school food from next week onwards. there goes my monthly allowance.

the stomach was so weird today... i can't take much food, and in the end i just went to sleep after dinner. woke up feeling better, so, here i am! also came largely due to jr's call, but... he's offline now... sobz.

and shawn just popped up at my doorstep looking like this lost sheep, which is so ironic coz he just came back from church. apparently lost his way cycling back from pasir ris, and was dying of thirst, so he had to come by for a packet of drink b3fore continuing on his quest for home. dratz, i should have pressurized him into drinking pure unpackected healthy water. oh well.

anywae, he's lost again. feeling very worried for him. P.S its 11.30pm now. (-______-)

yay! went over to anne's house to party, a super belated party at their rented condo, before they move out back to their house, where they are going to throw another post-renovation party! so fun!

basically just played mahjong in her room. had everyone screaming at me coz i was so slow at shouting "pong" and throwing tiles. erp.

den we all went to suntec with my mother, with the intention of going to the large Carrefour sale. in the end we just gave it up, and went to eat instead. and we ate.. and we ate..

suntec was SCARY! the number of people that started massing and streaming in at around 7 was... SCARY! TERRIFYING! everyone's here to watch the fireworks! on the other hand, the mrt ride back to Tampines was really empty and quiet. bought this watermelon at TM and had to lug it all the way home with my mom, together with the other groceries. my arms are hanging out of their sockets now.

Plea: Please cut down the trees along the highway, or at least make them portable, like the bougainvillea plants along the airport road. they are blocking our view of the fireworks down at the national stadium.

imagine: hundreds of singaporeans throng down to the CTE or the ECP, risking traffic fines and towing, just to catch a glimpse of the 3 min fireworks show during the National Day Parade. and after queueing up and getting lost and arguing over who's fault it is we got lost, we managed to arrive within 5 km of the stadium.

den there's these stupid trees blocking the view! its the ultimate unfairness! i love greenery, but... can't they grow shorter trees? if only the trees were portable, we would all gladly manually heave them to a less conspicuous place, and put them back in place after the whole thing's over.

yeps, so, please, do something about the trees in time for next year's NDP. and while u are at it, knock down the condominium blocks by the highway too, they block the view. =P

today becky flew off to Texas. we all went down there to see her off, was a huge group of people, consisting of the DHS GEPers, her VJC classmates and us (rojak).

was ultra funny, on three occassions we stood in a circle and said good bye, den realised that we could still follow her wat... and ended up running after her again. stopped and said bye outside the food court. den followed her down a flight of stairs, past construction sites (stopped and said bye again), den followed her to the departure gates. hope she has lots of fun overseas, and come back to visit soon!

well, for some reason, felt rather pissed and mean later on in the day; and shawn got the blunt of my temper... i'm sorry... public apology to Shawn. i was really very mean... you're not angry are u? *look small and doleful* i've just been thinking and thinking and swimming round in circles in my little brain, feeling more and more unjust as i did so... feeling so apologetic and small right now...

well, i was supposed to go for the second installation of the Investment Talk today, but Shawn's not going, and Jeremy's not going, so i decided not to go either, so as to go Swensen's with QL and Stell.

heard from jermee that Swensen's got this cool offer: Topless 5 (original price $6.60) is now selling for $1.39 as a National Day Celebration. so we trudged off to wat we thot was the nearest Swensen's at Tampines. missed the Bus 31, or rather it missed us; it just roared on down the road as three gals and one guy sprang from the seat and start waving crazily. and i was screaming "Uncle~~~!!!" as loudly as i can from the bus stop in the hope that the bus would reverse and back into the bay. oh well. bad service.

so, in the end we managed to arrive at Tampines Swensen, a bit squashed and disoriented from the crowded bus, but alive all the same.

Swensen's was totally FULL HOUSE! well, almost. and everyone was eating topless 5. ordered Chocolate Almond Fudge, Thin Mint, Sticky Chewy Chocolate, Pistachio and Almond, and Butterscotch. the icecream took really long to arrive, which is weird, coz its topless and all they needed to do was scoop and deliver.

my icecream seemed to melt extremely fast as compared to QL's and stell's. anywae, in the end i had this deep pool of melted icecream left over, and i drew a cute smiley face with the chocolate on the butterscotch. it was a piece of art! but the waitress didn't seem to appreciate it... i feel so unloved...

got stell to accompany me home *i'm so evil* so we walked from Tampines Mall through the HDBs and the garden to the bus stop under my house. thanks, stell! it was really nice!

Observation of the Day: eating icecream in an air-conned place makes you shiver and feel very cold.

ah...! i'm so full... there's no more F Maths R today, so i decided to go out for MORE swensen's icecream. but... Stoopid Ginji had chem R, and he loved the tr so much that he decided to drop us (zhong se qing you), JR had to retake fmaths test (i had a bad premonition about it this morning), and TK decided to flip a coin to decide whether to go or not. reu did the flipping. *silence* *silently cursing* *... ...*

aniwae i had to stay behind in school to rot for the next 1 hour waiting for the Econ S lecture to start.

there was a group of frenz in the concourse too, and half hour into it, teen and jermee and me went off to 7-eleven to buy stuff. bought and ate mochi-icecream!!! its so nice~~~ i'm so full now! i'm STILL so full now! the sad thing was that when i breathed, the flour blew into my right eye. rubbed my eye for the next 10 min...

fmaths lecture test was first thing in the morning. i just couldn't get myself to study last night, so basically banned myself from the com, stuffed myself with chocolates and wrapped myself up in bed with One Piece 33 and a Maths lecture note for cover.

the test was darn easy! could haf scored if i studied, i guess. but i just felt so lazy last night, plus i did the tutorials, so didn't feel like re-reading all those huge long chunks of words. who needs words in maths? hello? but, ahhh~ there aren't any repercussions if i flunked anywae. so just heck care and stayed my rebellious self lorz. lol.

in the end, i couldn't do the entire Section A. Linear Spaces, i didn't even know it was in the test! i'm sure that applies to half the people in the LT. and the Stats, read the question wrongly, had to rush and redo everything again. darn. Mechanics. *griinnnnnnz*

listening to Jay Chou's newest cd, qi li xiang now. thanx jermee for helping me buy at a discount!

ahahdq etraew hnekoe rbehtr rofbut lcehty rofpuu flesyi mdengo istsup jdahia hguohs tladed veilef rtahwg emosleef wonodh dluohj sitahk wfonol itcivz ocymx foytix lanifc ehtgnv ileefmai sseugb itnern effidm tahweq mosebw lliwi osniar rbymnt ierehy pullau stitui bhcumton ekamto idluop wecnea reffis dtahw

sdneif rflamg ronylh noeboj thsiwk dnapul tievigz tsujx otdedc icediv saodtb sujdln uociro

trofmq ocsidw fotole amihgr nignit rbdray wkwapu ihsnoi italeo rruoep kamdna assefs nocrod yletif nifedg ninogh ardtij teldnk ateiul qpeekz odnacx isgnic hteerv htylnb osiereht

yrrosn emitem sehtlq latiow tdnile bootsr awiylt noemey kiltnu didehi tahtso tnihep ltbusa gnivis gneebd dahehtub sdneif rfniag meroth saosej cnarok ngignl ikafyz notix tuobac nwonkv syawlb adahen htahtm dnaelq bissow pmisae wtitar htdest ilaer lriglu oohcsi deviro pedaep kilgns ivardd nagnif zisatg nafpoh tsottj sujmik hekill regnoz lonitx ahtton rjgniv kilpub evigon tgniom gmaitq ahtdew dicede dahiko

sihtrr ehpict edothy guoneu derobi ebdluo owenop ynafia rednows sihtyd rtotdf ahtsug jllew

Jermee and i went out to buy a bday prez for someone today
Are supp to eat topless 5, but din notice its inapplicable after 5pm
Yah, ended up he treated me to Gold Rush, thanx!

Carried out plan to go running at ECP with QL
Hot and sweating, ended up walking instead of running, but we totally enjoyed
Our 1.5hours well spent, sea breeze was super nice,
U should try it someday... totally loved it!

Quite silly though, was all sticky from the salty sea breeze, yet
I still had plans to go Bugis with Jermee after the run... stunk up the bus.

Let's not forget the darn Physics test this morning,
I totally flunked; couldn't study last night, left notes and TYS in school overnight.

Xtremely hyper now, watching all the Jay Chou MTVs i bought,
I am reminded all over again how great Jay is!!! i
Am so totally in love/ idolizing him!
N realized study break is next next week! yay!
Gist of it all: Jay Chou's newest cd, Qi Li Xiang rox da World!

started out a nice day, look set to be a nice productive saturday.

put my jay chou qi li xiang in the cd player first thing in the morning, den got my parents to play it in the car on the way to breakfast. listened to it through the first hour after lunch as i sat reading my GP notes.

plus, in the early afternoon, a small sunbird flew into my room and hovered around, perched itself on my table and curtains and shitted on my windowsill. it was really nice and i'm so darn proud of it, but pity i couldn't find the camera... can't take picture to show u all.

den~ shawn and weiteen called and persuaded me to go Swensen's to join them! so i went... huay ching, teen and ginji were there after their econ lec. deciding to spend only half an hour and return to my mugging asap.

the waiting for the orders to arrive took half an hour. oh well, DEN shawn told me that he found DRAGONBALL GT OVA selling for $4 in Cash Converters, so we went there to look for it. in the end bought To Heart, Star Ocean EX, AMG chibi edition, and no Dragonball coz i watched it before. sigh~

niwae, its 5.30pm now, don't feel like doing anything...

i'm not going to eat icecream again for the next 5 days. feeling so sick of icecream now.

P.S. listened to Jay Chou with shawn's mp3 player at swensen's too.

omg, just chatted with this senior who went NS... ah... he made going NS for gals sound so attractive!!!

well, yes, there's the thing about all the guys there being really nice and having great bods. and the fact that most girls end up in high ranks, and just signing on would make me an OFFICER! den u all would haf to salute me, bwaHAHA! and since there's so few competition around... *grinz manically to self*

and the physical training wouldn't be as tough as the guys, and there'll be less people to share barracks with, and i wouldn't start to grow fat from lack of PE and i'll be able to go to university at the same time as my guy friends, and learn about uni life from my gal frenz.

watz stopping me? ...LOGIC sucks...

i want the score for spirited away...! don't they haf any that's not 3-parts? sigh. and also jay chou's Xing Qing and Qi Li Xiang and Qing Tian and... wait a minute? i thought i'm never touching a keyboard again? oh well, i don't care. i want~~~!!!

just went to queue up for AGES n AGES to buy a booklet of stamps. life just doesn't make sense. i queue for 15 min just for that 0.5 min of service. i study for 1 year just for that 1 week of exams. and athletes train for their life just for that few seconds of the race.

and if that still doesn't sound weird, after it all we bang our heads on the wall and go "why the hell din i spend more time preparing??!!"

i'm crapping. miss msn-msging u all. sobZ.

oh, and... decided to go around Singapore one day with QL and Stell and 2 other people to fill up that Singapore Tourism Passport. den we're all going to change for 5 different lion plushies. so exciting! but i'm sure we're all going to end up spending a fortune on all the entrance fees... sigh. i NEEEED shiny! shinies!!!

i AM going to kill that bird. that darn black coloured bird with a golden beak and irritating squawk. otherwise termed a mynah.

i live in a high rise apartment, in singapore, where all animals such as birds (with the exception of the common house crow) are endangered and protected by the state. yay~

lately there's been this irritating mynah that's been coming into my kitchen and contaminating all our food. well, that's not my problem coz i have a stomach of iron and the throwing away of all the half-eaten stuff is my mom's job. yep, so i'm cool.

its just that before the bird enters the kitchen, it HAS TO PERCH on the clothesline. and since birds are so bird-brained they can't control their egestion system.

i just realized there's bird shit on my pyjamas. *waving spears and shields, doing a war dance in the middle of my room* right at the front. black dried bird shit, and i've been wearing this for the past 2 hours. EWWWW!!!!

this is not the first time that bird did this to me. many a time, i took my "clean clothes" to the bathroom to change into after my bath, only to realize there's bird shit on my clothes! den i haf to come out wrapped in a towel to get a new set of clothes! DARN!

i'm buying a water gun tomolo.

ooh. i flunked my physics test. 46%

the first thing my physics teacher said was "did u pick all the MCQ questions at random?" me "kinda... well, i was supposed to get around 2.5 questions correct, aren't i?" teacher: "...yar, around there." (to friend) "and almost every question she got wrong, u got correct."

so in the end, mcq i got 4/20, but i haf my reasons!! i left my TYS and Charged Particles notes back at school so i can't study. ok, scratch that. i should have done my tutorials and not studied at the very last minute.

but i got 9/20 for Data Analysis, which he said was quite good relative to the rest of the class, and 10/10 for structured questions!!! sigh~

the weird thing was, i was apologising profusely to the teacher, and he said, "never mind lar... i dun mind that much since its you..." something along that line. meaning... he put such high faith in me!!! NooOOo~~~!!!

i'd better not let him down and go get an A for the Prelims.

yay~ spent the whole afternoon at the Singapore Management University attending this talk on their scholarship programs.

the SMU site is so nice~~~ its this pre-war building with a lot of greenery and red bricks, a very homey and happy place. really loved it! felt like i was in some nice place like the England or France or Switzerland...

its a pity they would be moving their campus to the city area to this... super hi-tech, silver plated and techno building with an inbuilt MRT station. sigh~

but after the talk, i really feel like going there to study. the professors are really nice and friendly people, putting each other's faculty down during their respective presentations. you should hear how the Economics prof thrashed the Accountancy prof and the Accountancy prof thrashed the Social Sciences prof and so on. and they are very hearty and laughing through out the time. plus, i really like the fact that one can pursue double degrees and do 4 compulsory General subjects such as Art and Career Skills.

however, much as i like the culture, i think it'll crash awfully with my character. i'm this quiet, mousy introvert that hates having to open my mouth, and i might just die in such a loud and interactive environment. but again, it would be good if it would dig me out of my shell, although, hell, it would be painful.

and i got Jermee to give me a Tarot reading. it was a simple 3-cards reading and we were pretty rushed for time. felt really apologetic coz his frenz saw it, and were bugging him for a reading, but he can't give it to them. (letting the cards rest, cleanse the cards of the past reading, rearranging the deck) hope his fren wasn't hurt. its all coz i bugged him for one... sorryz

but heck lar, where got frenz so sensitive one.

niwae, my reading was...

PAST- 3 of cups - upset

PRESENT - 4 of cups - still dwelling on past, confused.

FUTURE - 5 of cups - a new engagement

wat do u see? ans: i didn't shuffle properly. LOL. will try to request a new reading another day.

yay~ did the wad element are u test at Quizilla. I'm Wind! so nice.

yepz, thinking about it, i AM similar to the wind... light-hearted, care-free, kind (heh, dun comment) and especially so, calm and soothing one minute and a raging typhoon the next.

and i can't stand being cooped up in any place and being kept in confinement (tutorials, lectures) make me totally dead and mindless. yep, still water runs deep, but still wind... they just don't exist anymore, until the door opens, and i'll run out to the open world.

well, sorry, that was my way of ranting about tutorials, they're probably the most stressful thing about school. not exams (i love exams actually, the adrenaline rush, the sense of purpose), not boring lectures, but tutorials, especially those where i didn't do my tutorials are all.

well, tomolo is the last tutorial of the term! yay~ den going out with QL and Stell for the last lunch outing of the term! so looking forward to it!

yay~ today is the last day of school! all the tutorials seemed so nice and laid-back; maybe its because i did them? and i actually noe watz going on? and i'm looking forward to the end of school, lol.

ok, i digress. wat i meant to sae is... today is the last day of school! to celebrate, went out with Stell and QL to Bedok Sumo Restaurant to eat cheap jap food! it's becoming our celebratory occassions venue.

the place had been renovated to include a larger interior, which is fully air-conned with a blaring radio. felt more cozy, although i felt more restricted. i hate walls.

aniwae, after a fun lunch, we walked out to discover, it's raining! we wanted to walk over to 7-eleven to buy icecreams, so walked all the way along the shops through the shelter to get to the 7-eleven directly across the eatery. walked a whole semicircle to reach the other end of the circle, something like that.

in the end, 7-eleven din haf the icecream we wanted, plus its COLD and raining, so we decided to shop around until the rain stops. went to vcd shops and edo-sushi and Mr Bean. impulsed bought Love Fantasy, My Beautiful Girl Mari. super regretting after i walked out of the shop. now i'm low on cash.. waaa~

and the interesting event was when QL and i tailed Stell all the way from our bus stop to hers to secretly make sure she didn't get lost, and she didn't realize! she only felt this uncomfy presence of a pair of eyes on her, but she didn't turn behind to see. was really funny, laughed till i had a stitch at my side.

playing this game called Survival Project. till later den.

i'm blind! i'm blind! squirted shampoo in my eye! ouch~~~~

my eyes hurt like the worse shit ever, and i can't stare at the computer screen for long periods of itme without tearing.... so here's my erason for refraining from coming online today. (i'm typing with my eyes closed by the way.)

ah~~~ feel so stupid!!! and summer fest is on today, and i can't go due to some stupid moral grounds...! well jermee makes sense saying that it'll be better to do well for the exams and NOT be banned from going japan end of the year den to go for the fest and do badly for the exams. but i still feel so londely and sad for not being able to go... for the Year 2s, seem like only JR is going? so sad!

hope i'll finish a lot of work today and feel confident enough to go haf fun, like 2 days before the exam! OMG! the exam is so soon!

i can't believe i'm doing this. i'm reading through the past essays Cook gave us... and i've still got 10 pages of TEXT text and more text to go. sitting a leg's length away from the screen and pressing the Down Arrow with my right toe. my eyes still hurt from the shampoo squirt, i can't stand staring too closely at the screen (argHz, too bright!); dun worry, i'll go wipe the keyboard clean later.

i have the feeling that i concentrate better at night; less distractions, a greater sense of urgency, less tendencies to daydream, and hell, i feel so wide awake now. (although i am super cranky)

i should do this more often; change my bio clock to nocturnal mode and mug at night. only its so lonely... i'm so cranky... and i keep fearing that my parents wake up like NOW and nag and send me off to bed. and nag in the morning. and ban me from the com. (ha, dey've banned me from the com so many times i lost count, but i guess i'm more concerned about upkeeping the rules den they are.)

argHz. i'm taking notes from the essays... but the handwritings so slewed i doubt i can recognise the points i jotted down... well, i'll just waste another 1 hour tomorrow deciphering wat i wrote. write. am writing.

and i noe its NOT late, so i'll quit whining alright?

just to irritate u :*whine whine whine whine whine*

argHz, did you read the news? two full pages on the 22% of the Singapore population who had never been attached before in their life.

sadly, i'm one of the 22%. again, i ask myself why. is it because of my boyish nature? my short stature? my looks? (i'm not THAT ugly am i? ok... dun comment.) my personality? some psychological defect on my part? unattractiveness? ummm... violence and insensitivity?

to add to the insult, i've never. had. a. guy. like. me. before. at. all. *BANGZ head on wall* what'z wrong with me~~~!! everytime i try to ask for opinions as to why the hell i'm SINGLE, the only answer i get is :"... ... hmmm... You're not BAD lar. i think its just u hafn't met that guy yet lorz. dun worry, i'm sure you'll get married in future, go concentrate on ur studies bah, studies more impt."

i haf the feeling you people are keeping something from me. *sobZ* i just noe i'm going to go through the remaining of my life lonely and unattached, with a dozen dogs and cats and hamsters for company and drowning myself in my work to get my mind off my singlehood. and i'll be signing up for these lame matchmaking sessions, but no one will ever take to me and i'll die a lonely old maid. and since i decided i'm going to live to 110, that seems like a reallly sad way to spend the rest of my 98 years.

but seriously, heck. studies are more important yar?

i'm falling.... falling sick... feel quite feverish, today was darn hot, although QL insisted that it was cold. its hot rite? i'm downing buckets of water now, wouldn't want to fall sick during the prelims. speaking of which, i really really want to get 3As, but i seem to only be able to secure Cmaths, try for Physics, and the rest is a battle of which is worse; Econs or Fmaths. sigh.

today was the GP exam. didn't feel particularly bad, guess i'll be able to score like B3 or B4 again... i need to break out of this! *SMU double degree!*

i will survive~~~!!! in a piano-score-downloading frenzy now. but too difficult cannot play~ sobZ... so i'll just look at them and pride myself for being able to extract these files from like a million websites out there.

starting to feel the first few feelings of addiciton for the game Survival Project. arghZ. i hate these compulsive disorders.. addiction to the net and blogging is enough, without this stupid game comsuming my life... whY~~~?

who's playing SP btw?

Advertisement:

Star Alliance Visit Japan Fare Offer - During 2004 and 2005, special fares will be offered by Star Alliance carriers from key markets, enabling customers to SAVE MONEY on travelling to JAPAN and on domestic flights when they arrive.

Star Alliance Japan Airpass - introduced in 2004, the Star Alliance Japan Airpass allows customers two to five flights within Japan to a choice of 49 destinations at 11,500 yen per flight. The Airpass offers excellent value, as well as flexibility and convenience.

Star Alliance Sweepstakes - Customers will have the chance to win free, all-inclusive trips through onboard sweepstakes.

... yay~! these promotions came just in time! my dreams of going Japan end of this year are burning strong again! lets heck the budget and go anywae; neh, neh, minna-san! if we go early december, we might get to catch the last few days of autumn! or if we go late december, we might catch the first day of snow! let's~~~ goooooo!!!

well, nothing much happened yesterday afterall. went to the PSC tok, and stayed out at suntec the whole day. all i can say is, the video was nice, although i noticed that most of the scholars filmed have this distinguishable accent in their speech. when did it become so that American openness, eloquence and flair for presentation is the norm, and is desirable when looking for academic and personal excellence? what happened to the age-old asian values of silence, inner-reflection, diligence and discipline? of quiet but hard work, of giving to others? is it because of the way scholars are identified in the selection process? that most of the people rejected are those that are humble enough to not over-sell themselves, and who's achievements are more in the academic and diligence factions den in the interpersonal factions? i'm getting out of point.

main thing is, the tea break was fantastic! the chocolate eclairs rock the world! thick, rich chocolate coating the top, soft but crisp breadstick and cool chocolate cream inside! i downed 6; PX downed 7, and kwok onn had 20. and i saw this guy sneaking out with a bundle of eclairs in his hands. (ning din like the eclairs, sobZ. and i'm not going to comment on the guys who didn't bother to eat. =P)

left the ballroom early coz we noticed a lot of sales ongoing upstairs. Sports Sale 80%!!! Book Fair! but nothing of interest really. yepz. CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS~~~!!!

den wasted the whole of today too, but had a lot of fun. went to pray for my grandfather, den intended to go Suntec for the Stamp Exhibition. but roads too crowded, so we decided to just take the roads that had the least traffic. ended up at ChinaTown.

ah~ and the main thing is; i got inspired to be nice and buy some good luck and friendship totems. bankrupted myself. ah~~~ DEN realized that the shopkeeper gave me one less totem when she packaged it! so i was feeling, oops, it still adds up, but then it felt weird. but, ha! as usual, everything ends up well. so i was walking along ChinaTown, looking at the roadside stalls, and i found a perfect good luck gift for qL and stell! yay~ two really nice sea shells!

special mention of the day: one day i'm going to go down to ChinaTown by myself and buy myself $100 worth of antiques. i'm serious. especially all the cool daggers and axes they are selling there! so intricate! so stable! so heavy!!! (i have a penchant for heavy weaponry, heh)

qn of the day: how many of you make your bed in the morning?

i decided to make my bed today. not out of love for it, but just as an excuse to laze about on the bed somemore, attempting to fold the blankets while lying down and tussling with the pillows. just realized its been so long since i tidied you, dear bed... folding the blanket, i noticed this rip across the fabric; no wonder i always felt a breeze even when i am fully wrapped up with the blanket. i wonder how long the rip had been there? (i wonder if it happened coz of washing or me kicking in my sleep...)

my bed is in a mess again. i really wonder why people ever advocate making beds. why do you bother tidying it up, when its more comfortable with pillows strewn all over? especially for my bed, its the second most lived in place i'll ever be. when i'm in my room, i would either 1. be at the computer, or 2. be on my bed. studying, sleeping, lazing, thinking, reading, drawing, pretending to be studying... and i like my bed with one pillow with the bolster below it at the foot of the bed and one at the top of the bed, so that i can alternate positions to laze at. and one, two, and three (four is in quarantine, its seriously underweight now) would be scattered to give maximum comfort, and bonehead would be lying on my chest or back depending on whether i'm lying face up or face down.

wait a minute, i'm ranting... yar..

ok, last thing. dun laf, but i AM going to be appearing offline for the next few days, coming online to blog and check my email only. yay~ i'm going to be going into intensive mugging. but if you people ever need me online to chat with, SMS me, or call my house phone to chat, kaez? love ya all~

i don't feel so good...

my family has this habit of eating fruits after dinner. yepZ, i'm sure a lot of you do that too. it's not very healthy, but that's not the point.

point is, the dragonfruit was rotten.. not to the core, but the part near the stalk? there's this huge depression, and the skin and "meat" is all goey, and the goey parts are DRIPPING, and i've got red goo on my dress cause i was the one who took the fruit out to cut.

and the POINT is, my mother cut away the goey part, and we ATE THE FRUIT!!! it smells funny~~~!!! *sobZ* i dont' want... *sobZ* as i was eating, i was envisioning all types of goey, disgusting, yucky stuff, so even if it doesn't kill my stomache, the psychological damage would. ya~~~ ah. there's a weird taste when i burp. *face turning green*

oh, and the other scary thing that struck me was, today when i was studying, a drop of water just splashed onto my Physics TYS. i can't figure out where the hell it came from. i assumed that the roof is just leaking. but, looking up, i don't see water stains or droplets on my ceiling. it's not possible for it to have come in through the window either, the wind is not strong today.

well, its just a weird occurrence right? then someone reminded me its the 7th Month... GhOsT mOnTh... okay, i'll stop here.

i dun feel so good...

got this quiz from jermee's blog. and since he did it, n ginji did it, felt like i have to do it too. (-_____-) since no one's online, and i'm the only one not out there saying 'hi' to all my teachers anyway, sigh.

01. No. of family members? : me, mum n dad. (extended: lost count)
02. No. of bfs you had? : zeroez.
03. Fav shopping outlet? : Century Square.
04. Favourite colour: Blu, B n W, platinum (i noe its not a colour)
05. Fav place to visit? : JAPAN!
06. Fav movies? : S2. Matrix. X-men 1,2.
07. Fav clothes brand? : no idea. only one i can remember is... chocolate?
08. Fav person? : mom?
09. Fav fruit? : china pear.
10. Fav food? : chocolate.
11. Fav drink? : plain water.
12. If you were stuck on an island, who is the first person you would think of? : Robinson Crusoe.
13. Would you marry for money? : well, if the person is good-looking, nice, intelligent.. i'm sure i'll fall in love with him eventually.
14. Have you had braces? : nope. but will have.
15. Do you pluck your eyebrows? : NO one TOUCHES my EYEBROWS.
16. Do you ever cut or hurt yourself? : i kick myself often.
17. Could you live without a computer? : if i have to, i'll adapt.
18. If you could live in any past time period, which would it be? : samurai-period japan!
19. Do you drink enough water? : when i feel i'm coming down with something.
20. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off? : take off of coz. mom will throw a fit.
21. Are you photogenic? : no.
22. Do you dream in colour of black and white? : colour.
23. What do you dream of most of the time? : weird events, meaning, weird plots.
24. Do you drink alcohol? : when i can get access to it.
25. What is the most beautiful language? : CHINESE!
26. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most? : sunsets.
27. Do you want to live to be 100? : no. 101.
28. Is a flat stomach important to you? : yes, but not enough to work for it.
29. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs? : religion, yes. but i just have to thrash some of their outlooks on life. sorry.
30. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off? : on. i want to maintain my degree (eyesight).
31. Do you believe in magic? : no...
32. Do you think you can draw well? : *blush* yesh...
33. Do you watch cartoons: : ANIME! its ANIME!
34. At what age did you find out Santa Claus wasn't real? : i was mature enough to realize he wasn't real right from the start. HA!
35. Do you sleep more on your back, front or side? : back.
36. Would you rather have a poodle of a rottweiler? :ROTTWEILER!
37. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today? : nope.
38. How long is your hair? : dry or wet? when dry it curls to shoulder-length. wet... i can't see behind me. under the shoulder?
39. How many phones do you have in your house? 3. 4 handphones.
40. Do you get along with your parents? : yepZ! absolutely!
41. What makes you happy? : ...little things in life? shrug, i just am.
42. What makes you sad? : ...little things in life? shrug, when it happens, it happens?
43. What are you wishing for now? : money to fall from the skies.
44. Do you believe in love at first sight? : yes. but not on whether it'll work out or not.
45. Did you ever want to get revenge on someone because they hurt you? : nopez. i'm sure they didn't mean it to, and they are feeling worse then i am. but i DO get vengeful when i get pissed.
46. Have you ever wanted to tell someone you loved him/her, but didn't? : had i ever told someone i loved him? ...being hyper and shouting love-yous to everyone in sight does not count. nope, didn't dare to.
47. What are you looking forward to? : December 2004.
48. what is the last thing you ate? : Breakfast. bread and biscuits.
49. What are you afraid of? : people.
50. Are you missing someone you haven't seen in a long time? : noot really. we still chat online.

=in the last 24 hours have you...=

51. cried? : nope.
52. bought something? : nopez.
53. sang? : yar... with the cd.
54. eaten? : doh.
55. been kissed? : (-______-) *kick*
56. felt stupid? : considering i was trying to make sense of my lecture notes, yesh.
57. wanted to tell someone you love him/ner, but didn't? : yepz. didn't want him to get the wrong idea wat.
58. talked to an ex? : waaaat ex?
59. had a serious talk? : discussing my business plan with my parents? didn't think they took it seriously tho.
60. missed someone? : nopeZ.
61. hugged someone? : Bonehead!
62. argued with parents? nopeZ.
63. dreamt about someone you can't be with? : erm, my dreams are about fictional characters, so i guess so.

=Do you...=

64. like candles? : yep. fire too.
65. like company? : yepZ~~~
66. believe in forgiveness? : yepZ!
67. want to get married? : hell, yesH!
68. want to have kids? : yep, 2 or 3. hopefully a boy and a girl. hopefully two boys and a girl. hopefully, an elder son and.. blah.
69. ever want to adopt kids? : if... i can't conceive... yar. CHOI!

special mention: to jermee whomi got the quiz from, and who got the quiz from denise, and i got inspired to do this quiz coz of shawn... and... its all YOUR faults for making me waste 1 hour online... =P